This is probably assumed to be a weird topic coming from me. For those who know me personally and those who follow me online I definitely give off the air of being sexually confident..but that’s just an air. At 30 I need to step back and examine some of the choices I am making when dealing with my body. Some people shop, others have video games, some have food, some have the gym (hell that is the hobby my ass is trying to get into), but for me when boredom strikes I have orgasms. Sometimes given from my own hands, a toy, or other times from another’s various body parts. Either way they are given I know without a doubt that sex isn’t and shouldn’t be a cure all for my boredom.
A few months ago I had an um “eye opening” experience. Kim (owner of @vavavoomllc ) a good friend of mine and I decided to have a night out on the town and then splurge on a fancy hotel room since we hadn’t seen each other in almost a year. When I got into town I checked into the hotel room. I showered laid out my outfit to wear out with my friend and then I was BORED. So out of boredom I pulled out my phone and called this 40 year old guy who we will call “The Giant” who was gifted with the tongue of life and told him to come through. Within a half hour “The Giant” was there. Now to most this story doesn’t seem like it’s going in a bad direction but it definitely did.
"The Giant" walked into the room and immediately began questioning me about my personal life. Um… “nigga you know my pussy not me stop questioning me” is what my head was thinking but I knew if I answered as such the head would leave out the door with him. So instead I made up lies to whatever he asked. After 20 fucking questions was over he proceeded to get into my hotel room shower. FUCK NO!
1- you didn’t bring any towels or washcloths sir and those are for me and Kim
2- the ones I don’t use during my hotel room stay I steal and take home
3- a whole shower means you think your whole body is about to be in use. Bree is just here for the head!
I knew from the questions and the shower that I was not only going to get a nut but also a headache. When he got out the shower he didn’t even dry off all the way before he laid his damp jolly green 6’4 giant ass on the bed. But that’s okay because I had already stripped off the good linen and put that scratchy cheap fleece blanket over the bed that they keep in the closet for sofa bed usage. You weren’t going to sweat drool or get your man self over the sheets Kim and I had to sleep on later tonight.
He started to give me head. I laid back and relaxed. This nigga ate pussy like it was the last meal. He was showing my pussy and asshole equal attention like they were one in the same! Gosh if I only liked him as much as I liked what he could do. AND THEN he started fucking talking again… “whose pussy is it” nigga not yours “who eats the best pussy” um I can name a few people in a few other states that can contend with your oral game “you gonna squirt for me” um I might squirt and piss “you gonna take this dick” nigga you know I’m not. After literally 5mins I started to cum in his face (well his mouth to be more specific). He swallowed like a lost man in the desert finding a water bottle. I got to cum about 3 times before he stopped and I was drained. I thought we were done. I thought he would dry that dripping ass beard and leave me the hell alone.
Boy was I wrong. He crawls up to the side of my head and there’s this huge damn near footlong penis just chilling beside my face. I wish you could have seen how fast I got some energy. I hopped off that bed so quick! What the fuck was he thinking! I texted you and told you I needed head not dick! After I hop off the bed he goes into this long monologue “I mean every time I see you I do what you need blah blah blah my dick is hard blah blah blah I got condoms blah blah.” After 3 minutes of this I was irritated. Being the modern woman that I am I travel with my own condoms and lube. I squirted some lube in a condom slipped the condom on his dick and proceeded to jack this grown ass man off into a condom. Your sperm was not touching my fucking skin. He was highly offended and I highly didn’t fucking care.
After he had came and flushed his baby jelly filled condom down the toilet he wanted to talk some more. “Where are you going tonight?” “Can I come over later?” … to get him out the room I told him he could come back over after Kim and I had gone out. I did this fully well knowing that Kim and I were NOT having company in that room later. Long story short that baby lie I told ended up having this man
1- stalking our room at 2am sitting in the parking lot telling Kim and I via text that he saw us walking around the room naked.
2- calling and texting my cell phone back to back for 2 hours
3- calling the hotel room phone
4- banging on the hotel room door
5- having the front desk call upstairs to the room to let me know that I had a “guest” downstairs waiting
This was too fucking much over some head. I knew a change had to be made.
This story was the catalyst for my change. I had way too many similar stories of me wanting to cum and at the end me being left with my nut but also with aggravation. There were times when I fucked up my time because of sex, fucked up my emotions because of sex, fucked up other people’s emotions because of sex, fucked up my health because of sex (the Gonorrhea episode of 2010 shall not be forgotten), fucked up money because of sex, or just fucked up and gave the wrong person sex who didn’t deserve it. I needed a clean slate. I needed to give my heart, mind, and vagina a break.
I’m going to give December 1st my celibacy anniversary date. I’m going to mark that as the date I officially made a mental decision to step away from sex for a while to evaluate the reasons I have it and the consequences that come along with it. This is just part one sis (or bro I’m pretty sure there are some men reading this too) stick with me as I come to terms with what sex means to me, whether I’m okay with certain trade offs that sex comes with, what my terms of celibacy are, what hobbies and habits I’m picking up in order to not think of sex as much, the positive impact from my celibacy, and the struggle to keep true to my six month goal.