The Wylde Life

Self Growth

Join me in a cuddle...

Self Growth, Holistic Health, SexualityDaVina HarveyComment

  I am a cuddle freak.  I love to cuddle. Until the last year and some change I never really paid much attention to how much nonsexual, consensual, positive touch meant to me.  I took for granted that I was raised in a family that touched ALL the time. I have a brother who at 30 years old will still fall asleep on my shoulder (drooling of course), or nieces and nephews that pile up on the sofa with me like puppies.  I took for granted that I have friends that will sleep with me and hug me all the time. I took it for granted until my business started to pick up and I had less time to see my friends and family. I realized when the touch went missing just how much was missing from my life.

 I started attending cuddle events a little over a year and a half ago.  A private cuddle session here, a cuddle party there, then here and there quickly escalated into a minimum of once a month type hobby.  I have NOT had a negative experience yet. Saturday was one of my most memorable experiences as of yet. I often search for random meetups in my area and while searching a few weeks ago I happened upon Kesha’s Cuddle group.  I spoke with her multiple times about her event over the course of the few weeks. She was so warm. When the day of the event came I walked into her beautiful home with its common spaces covered with pallets, pillows, blankets, and mats.  The lights weren’t quite dim but they weren’t harsh, there were positive affirmations all over the walls, yummy looking food laid out on one of the islands, and the best part SMILES on every face when I walked in.

 When I walked in (15 mins late) the group was going over the welcome exercises and discussing consent.  I will say if you attend a cuddle event that allows strangers/ or non-vetted members to attend and they don’t discuss consent you should probably run.  In a touch based event where strangers are involved if you do not discuss consent or have ground rules laid down it could possibly lead to unwanted or uncomfortable touching which is the exact opposite of the reason the events are held.  I quickly scanned the room and spotted a huge cushion that could prob hold about 4 people and only two people where sitting on it so I sat down next to them. Everyone I saw was wearing comfy clothing. Sweats, pajamas, tshirts etc nothing constricting or super dressy.  Who wants to cuddle in shit they can barely breath in?

 After the welcoming exercises were done, consent rules discussed, and basic rules given the cuddling began.  As much touch as I love to give and receive you would think that I would jump right into an embrace. But nope that is not the case it generally takes me a little chatting and vibing to get to it.  The first half hour found me with my feet in a massage therapists lap getting a quick impromptu yummy feeling massage and another ladies feet in my hands. We talked about touch, love, monogamy, massage, and tantra.  By the time finished chatting and foot loving most of us were comfortable and started buddying up in mini cuddle puddles.

Some cuddle puddles had one person cuddled with a blanket and pillow (Single cuddles are allowed), some had two people, some had three, I even saw a puddle that had four.  I saw man on man, female on female, and male on female touch. I love that everyone regardless of gender, race, or age seemed to be sharing touch. At one point I was in a seated something like Indian style hugging embrace and I cried.  It was a sweet warm tight hug and I needed it. I felt nothing but love. I felt like I owed nothing back for the awesome love he was showering me with and I felt like his love was given freely. Later on in the night I found myself in a position where I felt the touch of three people and I had tiny sensual butterflies fluttering around in my tummy.  The sensual energy made me feel absolutely NO GUILT. The fact that the race, age, and gender of those touching and embracing me didn’t matter and I still felt sensual energy did not bother me either. As a grown woman who embraces consensual touch, love, my body, and sensuality I know longer feel guilt over healthy feelings. But as it was a nonsexual party I let the pleasant feelings be felt and DID NOT start gyrating my hips or grinding lol.  (There’s other types of parties for that).

  I had so much fun at the party Saturday.  I can not wait to link with some of the people I connected with for other classes and events outside of cuddling.  I was happy I was able to give love and be loved. I currently am offering cuddle sessions in the Atlanta, Columbus, and Charlotte areas. I am also going to be hosting cuddle parties starting this May.  The first party will be in Atlanta. If you would like to find out more about cuddle sessions and parties please email me at tantrictouchbyher@gmail.com subject: Cuddle Me.  Here’s a special surprise for those who read my blog today the first two Atlanta and Columbus (two for each city) people to email me about a cuddle session will receive a free hour long cuddle session.  


Until next time if you don’t hear it from anyone else I LOVE YOU.


 


Submitting To Other Women/ Humbling Yourself/ Acts of Service

Self GrowthDaVina HarveyComment

Relationships (intimate wise), relationships (everyday wise), and relationships in business and networking all have different dynamics for me.  Everyday wise in a relationship I am a partner I’m equal I’m a helpmate it certain circumstances I am submissive, in my intimate relationships I am BEYOND submissive majority of the time, but when it comes to business and the community of women I network in I tend to be more so a dominant personality.  (oddly enough majority of the women I’m around are also dominant). This last year I have found myself submitting to other women. At first there was a discomfort associated with the process a feeling of relinquishing power and the “i know it all” security blanket. A sense of fear in putting my education, finances, or even sometimes health in the hands of another.  At first it was scary. I had to literally have little mental pep talks with myself. “Bree you are not the best at everything” “Bree you can’t teach yourself everything via youtube and books” “Bree we have elders for a reason” and the self chats go on and on but they helped me. Eventually I learned to give in and let the universe teach me how to learn and receive from others.  

Amina the lead educator and owner of “Atlanta Tantra”  (ig: @atltantra and @atltantrafest) is one of the women I have had no problem submitting to and will continue to do so when and if she needs it.  She has shown me a perfect example of how a woman of power walks in grace, purpose, and humility. Who knows that others are willing to do for her and help in whatever way possible but only takes what is needed and gives back just as much as she uses if not more.  She is reciprocity.I know that what she speaks and teaches resonates with me, I know that she values elders, education, and paying homage to those before her. I know that she recognizes that her financial growth isn’t stunted by helping other woman achieve theirs.  I know that women like her give a lot of themselves and take a lot onto their plates. They give emotionally, physically, energetically, time, and sometimes even financially. There has to be a balance so that we don’t drain and burn them out.

Acts of service are one of the greatest ways to show your love for another woman.  Do you need me to help you clean up.. Do you want me to post your event or product… Do you need help setting up...What do you need...Are you okay…. Have you rested want me to get you anything?  These are all things you need to be asking the healers in your life. Your healers can be your pastor, your best friend who sometimes you unknowingly unload your emotional baggage onto, your yoga instructor, your tantra teacher, your reiki practitioner , your massage therapist, and the list goes on.  You do not OWN THEIR POSITIVE ENERGY YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO DRAIN THEM. Wells can be run dry by thirsty asses. Rains have to fill them back up. If you aren’t willing to reciprocate then leave them alone and let them continue on through life without your presence.

My dance instructor and friend Naomi is a beautiful soul.  The dance that she performed for Amina was real, personal, and an act of submission and thanks.  Naomi is a bold big powerful energy in her own right and to watch her bow to another woman and give thanks through her art form made me happy and proud this morning.  I’m so happy with the women I am around, I am blessed with the women the universe provides me the pleasure of getting to know, and I’m happy in my growth. When you see your circle and community forming make sure you take the time to identify those strong figures and healers in your circle and make sure you take care of them.

TIPS FOR ACTS OF SERVICE WHEN DEALING WITH A HEALER WITH A BUSINESS

1) promote their events/ products

2) when they have an event offer 2-3 hours of your time and tell them you are of assistance to them

3) ask them if there is any errand you can run

4) tell them what crafts, trades, arts you are good at and ask them how that can benefit them.


Pasts Only Haunt The Weak...

Self GrowthDaVina Harvey

 

There isn’t shit you can tell me about myself or things I have done in the past that I don’t already know.  Lovebug I fucking lived through it.  The distances in which we as women will go through to drag another woman’s name in the mud via her past are disgusting at times.  You can only fight the mud slinging with acceptance of everything you have done in your past.  I accept EVERYTHING about me and I don’t look for your acceptance of the road I took to get to where I am.  

I was a Hoe.  (say it out loud, text it, fuck chant it in prayer and meditation iif need be lol) It’s not a hard phrase to put into words.  I WAS A HOE.  I wasn’t the stereotypical type that slept with a few boys in my highschool, maybe some in the college, and then a few at the job like most women.  Nope...I was more so the type that slept with the gentlemen that didn’t mind getting a nice telly and paying a set hourly rate.  For those of you who are a little slow...I mean I was the type of a hoe that could have paid taxes on her type of hoeing.  It was a phase, I was emotionally damaged, and spiritually broken.  I didn’t know myself and it offered closeness and money at the same time.  While I don’t condone the field of work for anyone I understand now why I did what I did.

I don’t mind sharing that because I am a damn near 31 year old woman.  I love myself.  I love the journey I have made thus far and the journey that I am on.  I understand that had I have not gone through what I did and made the choices that I did back then I wouldn’t have the compassion and understanding that I have now.  Someone of you should make hiding your past a full time job with all the energy and time you put into it.  It is harder to hide than it is to be open and accept it happened.  The freedom you feel when you officially give up the fucks given about what people know about you is something you can’t explain.

 

I am loving because of my past…

I am compassionate and understanding of things outside of social norms because of my past…

I am an amazing understanding of relationships and keeping a mate happy because of my past…

I am less likely to judge and more likely to comfort another woman going through something sexually because of my past…

Hell I know how to please myself better than half yall out there because of my past…

I am strong because it takes strength to find the positives in the hurtful shit that you did and use them to your advantage to grow as a woman because of my past…

My past made me.  I won’t hide it. I won’t apologize for it. I won’t let anyone make me feel guilty over it.  I have a few younger women in my life that mean just as much as family does to me and they know pretty much everything about me.  I let them know it all the good and the bad because I don’t want them to be tempted to relive some of the choices I made when I was younger when they can learn from my mistakes instead.  Hiding from truths doesn’t benefit those that could be learning from you.  Not benefiting and teaching those around you means you aren’t living up to your full potential.  Not living to your full ability means you aren’t living your life fully because WE ARE HERE TO HELP OTHERS.