The Wylde Life

Sexuality

Join me in a cuddle...

Self Growth, Holistic Health, SexualityDaVina HarveyComment

  I am a cuddle freak.  I love to cuddle. Until the last year and some change I never really paid much attention to how much nonsexual, consensual, positive touch meant to me.  I took for granted that I was raised in a family that touched ALL the time. I have a brother who at 30 years old will still fall asleep on my shoulder (drooling of course), or nieces and nephews that pile up on the sofa with me like puppies.  I took for granted that I have friends that will sleep with me and hug me all the time. I took it for granted until my business started to pick up and I had less time to see my friends and family. I realized when the touch went missing just how much was missing from my life.

 I started attending cuddle events a little over a year and a half ago.  A private cuddle session here, a cuddle party there, then here and there quickly escalated into a minimum of once a month type hobby.  I have NOT had a negative experience yet. Saturday was one of my most memorable experiences as of yet. I often search for random meetups in my area and while searching a few weeks ago I happened upon Kesha’s Cuddle group.  I spoke with her multiple times about her event over the course of the few weeks. She was so warm. When the day of the event came I walked into her beautiful home with its common spaces covered with pallets, pillows, blankets, and mats.  The lights weren’t quite dim but they weren’t harsh, there were positive affirmations all over the walls, yummy looking food laid out on one of the islands, and the best part SMILES on every face when I walked in.

 When I walked in (15 mins late) the group was going over the welcome exercises and discussing consent.  I will say if you attend a cuddle event that allows strangers/ or non-vetted members to attend and they don’t discuss consent you should probably run.  In a touch based event where strangers are involved if you do not discuss consent or have ground rules laid down it could possibly lead to unwanted or uncomfortable touching which is the exact opposite of the reason the events are held.  I quickly scanned the room and spotted a huge cushion that could prob hold about 4 people and only two people where sitting on it so I sat down next to them. Everyone I saw was wearing comfy clothing. Sweats, pajamas, tshirts etc nothing constricting or super dressy.  Who wants to cuddle in shit they can barely breath in?

 After the welcoming exercises were done, consent rules discussed, and basic rules given the cuddling began.  As much touch as I love to give and receive you would think that I would jump right into an embrace. But nope that is not the case it generally takes me a little chatting and vibing to get to it.  The first half hour found me with my feet in a massage therapists lap getting a quick impromptu yummy feeling massage and another ladies feet in my hands. We talked about touch, love, monogamy, massage, and tantra.  By the time finished chatting and foot loving most of us were comfortable and started buddying up in mini cuddle puddles.

Some cuddle puddles had one person cuddled with a blanket and pillow (Single cuddles are allowed), some had two people, some had three, I even saw a puddle that had four.  I saw man on man, female on female, and male on female touch. I love that everyone regardless of gender, race, or age seemed to be sharing touch. At one point I was in a seated something like Indian style hugging embrace and I cried.  It was a sweet warm tight hug and I needed it. I felt nothing but love. I felt like I owed nothing back for the awesome love he was showering me with and I felt like his love was given freely. Later on in the night I found myself in a position where I felt the touch of three people and I had tiny sensual butterflies fluttering around in my tummy.  The sensual energy made me feel absolutely NO GUILT. The fact that the race, age, and gender of those touching and embracing me didn’t matter and I still felt sensual energy did not bother me either. As a grown woman who embraces consensual touch, love, my body, and sensuality I know longer feel guilt over healthy feelings. But as it was a nonsexual party I let the pleasant feelings be felt and DID NOT start gyrating my hips or grinding lol.  (There’s other types of parties for that).

  I had so much fun at the party Saturday.  I can not wait to link with some of the people I connected with for other classes and events outside of cuddling.  I was happy I was able to give love and be loved. I currently am offering cuddle sessions in the Atlanta, Columbus, and Charlotte areas. I am also going to be hosting cuddle parties starting this May.  The first party will be in Atlanta. If you would like to find out more about cuddle sessions and parties please email me at tantrictouchbyher@gmail.com subject: Cuddle Me.  Here’s a special surprise for those who read my blog today the first two Atlanta and Columbus (two for each city) people to email me about a cuddle session will receive a free hour long cuddle session.  


Until next time if you don’t hear it from anyone else I LOVE YOU.


 


Forced Orgasm... and Showing My Goodies

SexualityDaVina HarveyComment

There are so many rules involved in everyday living.  For a woman the rules are even more specific. Don’t be too loud… too colorful… too bold… too happy…. too orgasmic.  Basically the message for a women is “don’t feel anything or do anything too strongly”. House and home is for us...sex is for “them”.  I’m thirty-one and I’m too old to live a life that follows those rules. Everything I do has to make me happy. I no longer live for my family, friends, or partner… so I damn sure don’t live for societies approval.  Last night I attended an beautiful event in support of my sister Dizzy ( @ohdizzy on instagram). It opened me up to things I had not experienced before and made me aware that I living my life more fully is one of the most beautiful and fulfilling things I can do for myself right now.  

Dizzy is a Miami raised sexual educator newly moved to Atlanta.  She teaches everything from proper care of sexual toys, to bondage, to squirting.  The topic in which my body served as her subject last night was “Forced Orgasm”.  We all know Wikipedia isn’t exactly a scholarly source but it did damn good on the definition for forced orgasm.  According to wikipedia a forced orgasm is “a form of orgasm control in which a partner sexually stimulates a submissive partner to the point of the submissives involuntary orgasm, with the submissive trying to restrain the onset of the orgasm. Sometimes in bdsm restraints are used”.  In my case Ty (a brown femme Dom based in Atlanta whom I will be blogging about at a later date) restrained my wrists and legs with a soft broken in jute rope. The beautiful knots and tying she did was enough to keep me from closing my legs and moving my arms but loose enough that I could move my hands and lift or shift my butt and hips.

Until last night other than basic Amazon bed x shaped leg and arm restraints I had never been tied up.  I loved it. I laid upon a black vinyl sheet used in bdsm for its ease of cleaning in the middle of a room with an audience waiting as Ty started to work. Ty was soft, sure, and sensual.  I know for a fact that there is only so much I would let a male dom do to me and that even still whatever he did would have to be sensual and not purely sadist based. A sadist is a person  who gets pleasure whether sexual or not from causing pain or humiliation to another. I’m not willing to let a male...hell probably not even a female take that kink out on my body.

I was nervous. I’m plus sized living in Atlanta a city where it’s normal to see a sixty-five year old woman with her body done.  Majority of those in attendance last night were owners of slim bodies and perky tits. I counted to three disrobed and laid my ass down.  While Ty was tying me up I heard some of the coolest comments. A few were about how the liked bbws and there were murmurs of excitement while I kind of expected at least 1-2 people to be voicing the opposite.  What I will say is I’m damn glad I went to see Kim (my waxer and sister at @vavavoomllc ) for a wax a few days ago because otherwise they were going to have gotten a view of my baby bear pussy and asshole. I do know that after being naked and vulnerable in the room on display last night that I’m much more willing to do so in many other forums in the future.  If you are feeling an apprehension about sharing your body visually with others my advice is to JUST FUCKING DO IT! It gets easier and easier with time.

Every who touched me had positive energy around them and you could feel the intention.  I had a woman rubbing my scalp and playing in my hair, someone was playing with my nipples, occasionally Dizzy’s suction toy (Which is AMAZING AND BEATS MINE) was being dragged across my body and onto my nipples, and DIzzy and SIr  ( a male dom who’s info I will include below) took turns using the Ultimate Shibari massager (think Hitachi with a mega grapefruit size head) and the clit suction vibrator on my clitoras and vaginal area.

While they were doing this I was unintentionally fighting it in the beginning.  I don’t know why I think it’s a natural thing that I’ve always done. I was clenching and avoiding moving and making noise.  Noise is natural but again we hide sex and expression of strong feeling so I was trying to be quite. Dizzy kept telling me soothingly that it was okay to make noise and within 4 or 5 minutes I was screaming like a fucking banshee.  The session went on for what felt like twenty to thirty minutes. My legs were shaking, I literally had tears streaming down my eyes (and Sir’s submissive lovingly wiped them up).  After two orgasms I didn’t care that I was naked, I felt no insecurities I just wanted to cum over and over again.  Feeling the warm liquid come out of my vagina when I came, feeling my clitorus bud up, feeling my vagina contract with my cumming was so amazing.  I was aware of it all. The talking of the watchers fueled my excitement even more. Which makes me think I may have a bit of a “look at me being nasty” kink lol.

.... now I need to go answer dms about this lovely night ladies… I will cover the “knife play” and “cutting” portion tomorrow…



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Pt 2 of the Orlena: How I Use Mine + Finding My Clit

SexualityDaVina Harvey1 Comment

Your pussy is complex… we will spend years mastering makeup artistry, hair styles, and dance moves but won’t spend the same time with our vagina. (and trust me  learning your vagina is way more fun that any of the arts above) I have had over thirty women let me know that they had purchased the “Orlena” clitoral suction vibrator and I have had so many happy “I soaked the bed” or “my hubby is jealous” reviews but I have also had a handful of ladies that let me know they experienced slim to nothing with the use of this life saving toy.  That tells me one of two things… 1) you nerves are fucked and you could burn your clit with the raging fires or hell and you wouldn’t feel anything in which case you need to seek medical help OR 2) you don’t know how the fuck to drive your vagina.

 

Your vagina isn’t just a fucking hole.  You don’t ask her to get wet, stick something in it 20 times, and the “wallaaaa” and orgasm happens.  You have your labias (both majora / and minora ) in this entry we will call them “lips”, your clitoral hood, and your actual clit.  You have a bunch of other shit going on down there also but baby steps we will talk about those other parts another time, for this we are going to focus on the parts this toy loves on.  

 

If when you decide to use the Orlena you are not already lubricated grab some of your favorite lube ( I generally purchase mine which is organic and seaweed based from @vavavoomllc ) and give you your about a dime size amout to rub around between your lips and around your clit.  I also put 1-2 drops inside the white suction “mouth” of the vibrator. Start the vibrator on level 1 open your lips gently push your hood back or away from your clit and apply the mouth or the Orlena to the actual bulb of the clit (the fleshy round baby penis looking part). It might not be perfect the first time...Hell I’m a masturbation queen and sometimes I still have to feel and readjust to get things lined up perfectly.  The first time you feel like that intense “lightening bult” or “I am going to piss if I keep doing this” feeling you know you have it right! Continue on that spot and as you can take it speed the levels up.

 

When I have it placed correctly and I’m in the grove I do one of two things.

1- I squeeze my walls and muscles together on the inside as if I’m doing kegels and I hold it together the whole time I’m vibing myself

OR

2- I push out like I have to pee and I hold the feeling for as long as I can while I’m holding the vibrator on my clit.

Either way I do it even when the feeling gets super itense and I get the urge to move the toy off of direct contact I still hold it there.  It’s hard you might scream and you might make some ugly ass Jurassic Park dinosuar type noises but in the end it is worth it. I generally can orgasm within 1-3 minutes tops and 50% of the time I can squirt when using one of the two methods above.

 

I have included a quick video and a few pics explaining where the different vagina parts are the I mentioned above are located… feel free to use the comment section below and share this article and toy idea with a friend.

NOTE: The photo below is a slide show. Click the photo to see more pics.

My New TOY! Orlena Clitoral Suction Vibrator

SexualityDaVina HarveyComment

Listennnnn I have had sex toys since I was a masturbating teenager.  My cousins girlfriend snuck me into a sex store when I was 16 and she was like 18/19 and brought me my first toy.  She said she would rather me be at home with a toy then out in the streets lol.  Little did she know that it would cause a lifelong obsession for finding the perfect masturbatory tool.  

 Until I ordered the "Orlena" my favorite toy was the rabbit.  I would pay $20-80 for a rabbit of different brands and after 3-6 months they would die on me.  They would stop rotating, or kill batteries in 20 minutes (hell sometimes my sessions run long), or they would just conk out completely after a while.  Some of the toys did great but none of them accomplished what this vibrator did.  This toy is the "LESBIAN MOUTHS" of toys.... and if you ladies have ever experienced it...nothing beats a lesbian mouth.

The reviews on amazon and on google of this toy are amazing! And it beats paying $70-200 for it's upscale cousin at the boutique sex shops.  Because who wants to pay that much that fucking much for an orgasm????  It's on amazon for $35 free PRIME shipping and arrives in 1-2 days.  I was stalking amazon waiting for my sweet baby to arrive.

When it came the box was super discreet.  I was happy about that don't want my holy mail lady knowing I'm about to knock my own walls down do I?  It was super easy to figure out how to figure out how to charge it (and it came with a free charge ...YAY NO MORE BATTERY RUNS OR STEALING BATTERIES OUT OF REMOTES) it took about 30-45 mins to fully charge although it says give it 1-2 hours.  Once it charged I was so excited to try it.  I laid down not even aroused (ie...wet) and placed it on my man in the boat...it was amazing five seconds was enough for me to know that I was in love.  

I think if I was handcuffed and a partner was holding it to me the experience would be a little better because sometimes it feels so good I can't keep my hand still.  It's is def an item I would add to the newly forming BDSM treasure trunk.  I used it for about 5 minutes on low while watching porn and had a mini gusher orgasm.

Ladies I give this a 5/5 star... I'm happy! 

PS- if you order one please leave a review on amazon as this is a new company and mention that you heard about it from @breewylde in the review.  Thanks ladies.  IF you have any sex toys or products you are in love with please shoot me an email.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B075RF33ZD/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

 

Exploring Kink While Brown... Journey beginning (Part 1:1)

SexualityDaVina Harvey1 Comment

I’m currently just trying to live life.  You know all the regular things… drink water, eat fresh, twists my afro up at night, and determine what kinks and fetishes float my boat.  This year I’m try to be the best me and as a grown woman I feel part of the best is determining where on the sexual kink spectrum I fall.  What purpose is sex (sexual activities) if you are not doing the things your body and spirit want to do?  I ended 2017 on a search.  I searched for websites, groups of people, educational forums that meet locally, and in person clubs or facilities.  I succeeded in finding page after page worth of information,  I found awesome websites, and even connected with a few people. There was a slight gap in the information I found...the brown people were missing.

I am all for loving everyone.  I love purple, black, pink, and orange equally.  Though with intimate things and issues dealing with my comfort level I do feel more secure and open with people from my own culture.  Sex and kink are some of the most intimate things that I could possible be delving into and to not see myself present in that realm kind of bothers me.  When I needed to learn how to care for my natural hair I turned to my community, when I needed help with eating healthy I went to my community, but when finding out how to delve deeper into my sexuality I’m out here alone?

The mentality that black people have when it comes to sex and kink obviously has some historical and psychology based roots, but I can’t dim my sexual flamefor hangups others have.   This month I will be attending a kink meet and greet, I will be attending a BDSM dungeon, a munch , and buying a few toys and books.  I’ll be posting videos and pictures when I can to chronicle my journey.  Wish me luck!

Celibacy… The Shit Ain’t As Easy As I Thought ( Part 1:1)

SexualityDaVina HarveyComment
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This is probably assumed to be a weird topic coming from me.  For those who know me personally and those who follow me online I definitely give off the air of being sexually confident..but that’s just an air.  At 30 I need to step back and examine some of the choices I am making when dealing with my body.  Some people shop, others have video games, some have food, some have the gym (hell that is the hobby my ass is trying to get into), but for me when boredom strikes I have orgasms.   Sometimes given from my own hands, a toy, or other times from another’s various body parts.  Either way they are given I know without a doubt that sex isn’t and shouldn’t be a cure all for my boredom.

A few months ago I had an um “eye opening” experience.  Kim (owner of @vavavoomllc ) a good friend of mine and I decided to have a night out on the town and then splurge on a fancy hotel room since we hadn’t seen each other in almost a year.  When I got into town I checked into the hotel room.  I showered laid out my outfit to wear out with my friend and then I was BORED.  So out of boredom I pulled out my phone and called this 40 year old guy who we will call “The Giant” who was gifted with the tongue of life and told him to come through.  Within a half hour “The Giant” was there.  Now to most this story doesn’t seem like it’s going in a bad direction but it definitely did.

"The Giant" walked into the room and immediately began questioning me about my personal life.  Um…  “nigga you know my pussy not me stop questioning me” is what my head was thinking but I knew if I answered as such the head would leave out the door with him.  So instead I made up lies to whatever he asked.  After 20 fucking questions was over he proceeded to get into my hotel room shower. FUCK NO!

1- you didn’t bring any towels or washcloths sir and those are for me and Kim

2- the ones I don’t use during my hotel room stay I steal and take home

3- a whole shower means you think your whole body is about to be in use. Bree is just here for the head!

I knew from the questions and the shower that I was not only going to get a nut but also a headache.  When he got out the shower he didn’t even dry off all the way before he laid his damp jolly green 6’4 giant ass on the bed.  But that’s okay because I had already stripped off the good linen and put that scratchy cheap fleece blanket over the bed that they keep in the closet for sofa bed usage. You weren’t going to sweat drool or get your man self over the sheets Kim and I had to sleep on later tonight.

He started to give me head.  I laid back and relaxed.  This nigga ate pussy like it was the last meal.  He was showing my pussy and asshole equal attention like they were one in the same! Gosh if I only liked him as much as I liked what he could do.  AND THEN he started fucking talking again… “whose pussy is it” nigga not yours “who eats the best pussy” um I can name a few people in a few other states that can contend with your oral game “you gonna squirt for me” um I might squirt and piss “you gonna take this dick” nigga you know I’m not.  After literally 5mins I started to cum in his face (well his mouth to be more specific).  He swallowed like a lost man in the desert finding a water bottle.  I got to cum about 3 times before he stopped and I was drained.  I thought we were done.  I thought he would dry that dripping ass beard and leave me the hell alone.

Boy was I wrong.  He crawls up to the side of my head and there’s this huge damn near footlong penis just chilling beside my face.  I wish you could have seen how fast I got some energy.  I hopped off that bed so quick!  What the fuck was he thinking! I texted you and told you I needed head not dick!  After I hop off the bed he goes into this long monologue “I mean every time I see you I do what you need blah blah blah my dick is hard blah blah blah I got condoms blah blah.” After 3 minutes of this I was irritated.  Being the modern woman that I am I travel with my own condoms and lube.  I squirted some lube in a condom slipped the condom on his dick and proceeded to jack this grown ass man off into a condom.  Your sperm was not touching my fucking skin.  He was highly offended and I highly didn’t fucking care.  

After he had came and flushed his baby jelly filled condom down the toilet he wanted to talk some more.  “Where are you going tonight?”  “Can I come over later?” … to get him out the room I told him he could come back over after Kim and I had gone out.  I did this fully well knowing that Kim and I were NOT having company in that room later.  Long story short that baby lie I told ended up having this man

1- stalking our room at 2am sitting in the parking lot telling Kim and I via text that he saw us walking around the room naked.

2- calling and texting my cell phone back to back for 2 hours

3- calling the hotel room phone

4- banging on the hotel room door

5- having the front desk call upstairs to the room to let me know that I had a “guest” downstairs waiting

This was too fucking much over some head.  I knew a change had to be made.

This story was the catalyst for my change.  I had way too many similar stories of me wanting to cum and at the end  me being left with  my nut but also with aggravation.   There were times when I fucked up my time because of sex, fucked up my emotions because of sex, fucked up other people’s emotions because of sex, fucked up my health because of sex (the Gonorrhea episode of 2010 shall not be forgotten), fucked up money because of sex, or just fucked up and gave the wrong person sex who didn’t deserve it.  I needed a clean slate.  I needed to give my heart, mind, and vagina a break.

I’m going to give December 1st my celibacy anniversary date.  I’m going to mark that as the date I officially made a mental decision to step away from sex for a while to evaluate the reasons I have it and the consequences that come along with it.  This is just part one sis (or bro I’m pretty sure there are some men reading this too) stick with me as I come to terms with what sex means to me, whether I’m okay with certain trade offs that sex comes with, what my terms of celibacy are, what hobbies and habits I’m picking up in order to not think of sex as much, the positive impact from my celibacy, and the struggle to keep true to my six month goal.